A weekend ending in hope
The Bad News:
1) Friday evening/Saturday morning/afternoon was one of the lowest times I’ve ever had. I mostly spent the day in bed feeling dead with the occasional panic flash whenever anybody tried to contact me. It was also the first day back on Wellbutrin. But by evening I was feeling a little better, which is good since I had to babysit for an important occasion. So I got out of bed at 430pm. LOL.
2) I cut myself – again – while doing dishes – this time I was not (stupidly) cleaning a knife like last week when I did it – but a glass cup had broken and I didn’t know it since it was obscured by bubbles- so I cut myself good with the broken cup on my left thumb- and once again had to do the dishes one-handed while the other hand spouted blood.
3) I feel “deconditioned” after spending so much time in bed so little things tire me out!
4) Grammar is hardly.
1) Today, Sunday, I feel slightly more “me”, like I’ve swallowed a few teaspoons of hope!
1.5) I cut off a bunch of Lester the Lion Kitty’s hair again because I was tired of the random clumps of Persian hair he was leaving around. I’m being more careful though, his skin is so loose that it’s easy to cut it, which I learned the hard way last time.So he has his lion ripple again. Ruffles Chips should hire him as their mascot.
2) I cut some flowers in the garden for my house…sounds little, but the small things I can do to cheer me up, accumulate into bigness.
3) My sense of humor is slowly coming back. I have a house plant that I put outside with a stick/flag that says “I’m dying, please help me, <3 Plantie" since my landlord is smart with plants. (BTW, I told a lady the other day I have a "black thumb" because we were discussing plants and she was a black lady and she looked at me blankly, and I was like hmm...oops?)
4) My Biobrite alarm clock is back and making a big difference since it fills my room with light by the time the alarm goes off.
5) I have received several great books from my twin, a GPS system from my friends Suzy & Arnie!!!!, now I can stop getting lost every few days, and then also my serotonin necklace from madewithmolecules.com from my parents! And a beautiful handmade necklace from a good friend!! And a postcard from my Norway host mother’s best friend, Hilde! My birthday is Tuesday! I can’t believe I’ll be 26!
6) I’m not feeling utter panic at the thought of this upcoming week in OT fieldwork. In fact, doh, that’s something I really want to share with you guys…later on tonight when it’s dark and I’m not burning valuable jewels of sunshine, I’ll share the weekly supervisor/OT student meeting comments….but for now I need to go. I’m going to go hold babies at the hospital, then walk in a park or forest or something…let the sunshine melt into my pores and infuse me with vitamin D goodness. More later…