Lions and tigers and bears and mostly just a desire for sleep

Tonight I almost cried on the track while walking with Allison…held tears back but was first time I wanted to cry work-wise on this rotation…I was really rattled today.

The day started off normal…we did a home visit and put the kids in high-chairs and I worked with one kid on visual tracking (concern about his eye muscles), activity tolerance, colors, matching, etc…it went really well…and the grandma gave us zinnia seeds…awesome…they have tons and tons of gorgeous zinnias with butterflies…

The afternoon was a little nuttier…a lot of drama/stress regarding paperwork etc, was just stressful. I ate lunch while doing paperwork. Saw several adorable kids but mostly finished up some plans of care, did an eval on a cute little 3-year old who stuffed play-doh in her mouth, paperwork paperwork paperwork….paperwork paperwork…I know my stress was mostly self-inflicted as it's not like the world was going to end, but I was rattled by the nonstop of it all…..from billing sheets to playdoh to scheduling to co-treats to well, everything!!! I did leave at 7pm on time instead of staying late even though I had a few things left I wanted to get done…and I think my OT is going to do my midterm tonight, hopefully she doesn't plan to fail me, LOL.

I went straight to meet Allison at the track and I was wired in a bad way from the constant stress vibe…we chatted and walked and she helped me chill out…plus we traded treatment ideas on like visual motor stuff etc…she taught me a really cool frog jumping song that I've of course promptly forgotten but want to video her it to share, and also suggested playing Theraputty-picking activities with more kid-friendly themes, like having the child watch you cover up a dinosaur with the putty and then with great drama beg him to save the dinosaur….etc…

Got home around 830 and between dinner, dishes, laundry, etc, (including the sugar baby watermelon suicide of summer 2008) and it's already 1040pm…I can go to bed at 11pm once I get my clothes out of landlord's dryer.

Lester and I are chilling on the floor together…he really needed some attention…he is a lot like my dearly departed Nikki in that he is a floor kitty and he demands floor attention…good thing I have a laptop…

Am hoping I don't have nightmares tonight…I typically have nightmare themes and while historically I had suffocation dreams, lately I have “crazy” dreams where I feel crazy and can't tell if it's just me or what…like dreams where I can jump and hop in the air and it leaves ripples… and hear echoes… and the world is just bizarre…and then I wake up absolutely terrified and stay terrified for a long time afterwards. I think I prefer my old tsunami dreams where I wake up gasping for breath to this kind of dream!!

I got an e-mail tonight from a woman who worked in child protective services and felt I was judgmental and sheltered in my discussions…she said it pretty nicely but of course I felt bad…my response in a nutshell was A) I'm a student that grew up in a rich part of So Cal…now I'm in rural Mississippi and on only my first rotation…so of course I'm sheltered and judgmental, that's a rather natural thing for a student to be at first….not that it is a good thing, but that leads to B) It's not like I write my posts, re-read them and go “Ooh….a sheltered and judgmental tone, that's exactly what I want to convey! Perfect!” – somebody has to speak up to tell me if I'm offensive or judgmental and why, so I can learn from my mistakes…she gave some good perspective from her viewpoint so I'm waiting to hear if I can share the feedback in entirety.

I'm sure I have tons more to share but that's the big stuff of the day and I'm exhausted, so good night.

Aug 20, 2008 | Category: Occupational Therapy | Comments: 1

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