pain

losing a loved one can be so hard. People who work in healthcare fields are often with people at some of the hardest times of their lives. When my grandmother was dying, my aunt wrote this to me in an e-mail, and I really like the concept.

There is a way to look at death that I have always liked.  Imagine that there are 10 points of pain to be absorbed when someone dies.  They are split between the person dying and the loved ones left behind.  If someone dies unexpectedly, like in their sleep (how we all want to die), then the survivors take 9 points of pain because it is such a shock.  We had a patient once with metastatic disease.  She defied the odds for 11 years.  In that case, the “dying” person took 9 points of pain.  Her death was not unexpected and many thought it was a blessing.  It's easier to take some of the points of pain if you have the idea that you are saving your loved one from taking them.