So..phys dys is stressing me out

Mood wise I'm actually doing a little better, but I'm also kind of stressed out…I know it's only the second week but I FEEL SOOOO STUPID! SO STUPID! SO STUPID! Did I mention I FEEL STUPID?! REALLY STUPID? I get intimidated easily, and I'm insecure, and I am so freaked out about the idea of someone falling or getting hurt because of me…and then I just don't have much experience at all in phys dys. All this physical stuff of actually putting hands on patients and moving limbs, transferring from one place to another, walking etc….I'm like…um…where do my hands go….what do I do…oh….and then my supervisor does something so simple and easy and I'm like I SUCK!!!!

And we have a Level I fieldwork student (a two-weeker) watching as well because census is so low that the PRN COTA didn't come in (and/or she goes home early because of a baby), so I feel extra inept because he is pretty confident/secure already, watching me fumble around. Not that he is judging me, I'm just projecting my insecurity.

One of my goals for this week is to speak louder and clearer…..people, not just patients, have trouble understanding me. And I need to successfully complete an eval by myself. I have kinda done a stroke one and a deconditioning one but in both cases my supervisor had to jump in a lot.

I think I am being too hard on myself, it's only Week 2, but I just feel so inept. I kind of dread work because I feel I am constantly showing incompetence. This afternoon I got to see a pediatric speech session with a little girl with velocardiofacial syndrome – very cool – we played CandyLand and did B, D, and T articulations, and I was like right at home…pediatric speech and OT have so much overlap and I was like…oh man….it feels good to not be scared.

I'm trying to keep a good attitude – and just need to swallow fear – and realize it's not that hard or scary – just a matter of getting used to adults with physical issues. It's not rocket science. Ok. That's my goal for tommorow. To be less intimidated and just TACKLE the day. To speak louder and clearer. To just do my best.

Oct 09, 2008 | Category: Occupational Therapy | Comments: none

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